I’ve been training Jiu Jitsu for over ten years now and while I’ve had the odd break due to sickness, career focus or wanting to spend time on other pursuits, I’ve always come back round to the mat. There have been times due to dissatisfaction of perceived lack of progression, I’ve “quit”, but as Al Pacino’s Michael Corleone famously said “Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.
Taking Jiu Jitsu Up
So what drew me to the “grappling art”? Fragile masculinity? Too many Joe Rogan podcast episodes?
My interest in the grappling art grew from a couple of different things – I’ve been an avid UFC fan since around 2008 and the sport has been from strength to strength since its inception. I’ve also trained Muay Thai off and on since I was 19 and I felt with the head start I’d have with my striking abilities, then one day I could compete in amateur or even professional mixed martial arts.
I had only a little bit of grappling experience before I took my first Jiu Jitsu class. As a teenager, I’d trained a little bit of judo in high school, but this was at the age when awkwardness, immaturity and edginess were the main themes of my teenage self’s life and consequently I didn’t pick up much.
Looking back on this period in my life makes me laugh sometimes, to the ignorance I espoused. In one conversation after an arm bar demonstration, I recall having this conversation with the coach.
“That arm bar wouldn’t work on me. I’d pull a knife from my pocket and stab you in the leg!”
“You carry a knife in your pocket?” asked the coach.
“Uhhh no.. Well uhh.. I’d grab your junk and twist it!”
“As your other arm is being broken?”
“Uhhh yeah!”
It’s worth noting that if you’re thinking of enrolling your child or teenager into JJ classes, not all of them will have the same attitude that I carried. Sometimes the most disruptive or troublesome teens might have a sense of discipline instilled in them by training Jiu Jitsu, in a way not altogether dissimilar to when that angry kid in the first Jurassic Park movie is scared straight by Doctor Grant is explaining how a velociraptor would hunt him if they were around. In fact, learning skills that require coordination, patience and timing can be a great experience to have.
Unfortunately for me, my ego and insecurities meant that I missed opportunity as much of JJ finds its roots in Judo and the Japanese Jiu Jitsu which acts a forefather to them both. If I were more intellectually present, the muscle memory I would have developed would have given me a great starting point for my Jiu Jitsu training.
So apart from the judo, the occasional wrestle with pals and the one time I went to an MMA class, my grappling knowledge entering BJJ was pretty much null and void.
Thankfully, for many of us, an opportunity to learn a skill like grappling will come when we are mature enough and ready to walk that path. This may come at a time when we’re prepared to set our ego aside and place focus on the development of individual steps, rather than look to be instantly transformed into a formidable warrior.
I expressed my interest to an old school friend who I’d seen rapidly dismantle a kickboxer with a mounted triangle in a local MMA promotion had just obtained his blue belt and invited me to join an open mat.
At that point, I was in my mid-twenties and a combination of fairly consistent Muay Thai training coupled with an enormous appetite and a particular set of genetics meant that I was fairly big, strong and aggressive. However, that aggressive was in that slightly panicky, “cockiness is better than nervousness” young male white belts sometimes have the tendency to display. While this did sometimes provide a little bit of a challenge to the blue belts and more experienced white belts, most of them would eventually wrap me up in positions I had never been in and cause me to tap.
I initially trained BJJ for a few months before I moved to Barcelona to teach English. Finding that learning Jiu Jitsu in a language I wasn’t fluent with virtually impossible, I went back to Muay Thai, meaning the only grappling session I had in the nine months there was at a party on a beach with a purple belt friend.
The Death of Ego
I returned home in late 2013 with a broken foot, but took up the gentle art again after the bone was fully healed. I finally invested in my first Gi, which I still have today. This was a budget purchase from a British-Pakistani manufacturer called Tatami, which has become a big player in the BJJ-gear manufacturing market. It took a while to learn how to tie the belt, but once I got that skill down-pat, I hit as many open mats as I good.
I still employed the same bullheaded strategy of applying weight and aggression, rather than seeing BJJ for what it can be brown down into; a system of often subtle micro movements which when applied can provide complete dominance over the most dangerous attacker. In failing to see that, my loss of ego still wasn’t as instantaneous as you might think.
I would frequently find myself out maneuvered by those with a better grasp of Jiu Jitsu’s philosophies regarding strategy, leverage and positioning.
I gained a reputation for being stubborn and refusing to tap. On one occasion, a tall and lanky blue belt put me in a bow-and-arrow choke, which involves using strategic grabbing of one gi lapel of the opponent, one of their leg and using your own legs to pin and control them. Using very little in the way of intelligent counter-tactics, I did everything I could to make it to the end of the round without tapping, to the extent that my long-term sparring partner, Adam told me afterwards.
“I genuinely believed that if I pulled any harder, I’d have pulled your head clean off your shoulders.”
On another occasion, where I was rolling with my coach, I found myself in a rear naked choke but decided I could somehow get myself out of it and then that I didn’t need to get myself out of it. I was somehow invincible.
When I came to, I found myself staring at the gym ceiling and felt that I was in the supermarket, but I couldn’t remember what I was there to buy, or where my money was. Then I wondered why my legs were in the air; why was my coach holding my feet and looking down concerned at me?
It took me a few seconds to make sense of the situation; my coach who was a qualified physician was trying to get blood to recirculate around my brain. The choke had me drift off to the shadow realm.
Told that I was done with training for the day, I carried around a strange feeling for the rest of the day, but I was left with a realization – stubbornness and ego had to be put to bed. Attention to detail technique and positioning would be required if I wanted to continue training.
This is why one of the mottos you might hear in a gym is “tap early and tap often”. Being a white belt means you should focus on surviving and escaping but when escaping is no longer an option, there is absolutely no shame in tapping.
The death of my ego was further solidified when I took a trip around South East Asia and spent some time in a few different Muay Thai camps around the country. I might be able to hit the pads like a demon, but my stiffness, lack of fluidity and poor ability to take a shot meant that any hope of a successful professional kick boxing or MMA career was largely put to death. There was nothing wrong with being a hobbyist, particularly when the limitations of one’s ability become clear.
Learning My Favorite Moves and Gaining Respect
Open mats can be great to put into practice the moves and concepts you’ve already learned so that your muscle memory and understanding of the art develops. That being said, if you really want to build your abilities, you’ll need to attend classes and watch and listen intently.
At the start of my JJ journey, I often attempted to copy moves and holds seen in either the UFC 2009 computer game, or in MMA matches themselves. One of these holds was the arm triangle choke which I had seen Brock Lesnar retain his heavyweight title against the exhausted Shane Carwin at UFC 116 in 2010. Executed well, it’s a great choke hold which takes advantage of smart positioning and control of your opponent. Executed the way I had been carrying it out, it meant badly cranking a sparring partner and teammate’s neck. Consequently, I was scolded by teammates and coach alike for this clumsiness.
Essentially, there are times to go hard, as you would in a self defense situation, or perhaps even at a high level tournament and there are times when sparring should be technical and designed to build a greater understanding in the fundamentals. BJJ is called “the Gentle Art” for a reason. It may be a phenomenal art for self defence, but like any sport, injuries can happen and it’s best to find safer ways to practice than in the manner I had been going about.
To accommodate my lifelong balance and coordination issues, my coach put emphasis on me developing good posture. I learned to understand where my centre of gravity was and where to place myself when attempting to pass guard, I also learned the power of subtly looking to find the “double under” pass, something which I still utilize today.
Outside of these passes, I also looked at the guard itself. Use of the guard position is one of the positions which distinguishes Jiu Jitsu from Judo, wrestling and other forms of grappling. While it may exist in Judo, it isn’t utilized anywhere near to the same extent and as so many street fights end up on the ground, it can be an incredibly useful tool, particularly if you’re able to employ the butterfly guard, or sweeps such as the flower sweep in order to quickly change positioning and assert dominance over an attacker or opponent.
My favorite submission holds would often be the ones I found myself being placed in and had to learn to escape. Kimuras, armbars and rear naked chokes would force me to tap frequently. On one occasion, I decided I was sick of being put in Adam’s bow-and-arrow chokes that I spent hours looking at different escapes. In learning the escapes, I also I learned some strategies of how to execute the move myself. It’s a submission hold I still absolutely adore to this day, because it really gives a sense of finesse to the person performing it. My understanding of the move would be one of the reasons my coach decided to give me a blue belt when he did, after more or less two years of total training time.
Internal and External Competitions
My first competition was held in the Straight Blast Gym Irish headquarters, a gym renowned for producing the most famous (or infamous) MMA fighter of all time – Conor McGregor. I was a little bit disappointed with the organization of the event, as the organizers had decided to cram both kid and adult competitors onto the same day. This meant that everything was running three hours behind and afraid to weigh in, I had been essentially fasting.
When I was matched with my opponent, I initially found some success in dodging his guard pull attempt and launched myself straight into throwing the double under pass on him. I succeeded and I got to side control, but my lack of knowledge of posture and positioning meant that my kimura attempts were ineffectual and my opponent managed to reposition and take mount. While I kept battling and was able to get to a more neutral position, by the time I felt able to go on the attack again, the five minute timer was up.
I was a little bit deflated that I hadn’t got passed the first round of the tournament, but I was encouraged by my teammates who saw the same stubbornness and lack of willingness to give up in a seemingly dire situation.
Due to scheduling, I wouldn’t get to compete in another event for several months. This next event was a submission only event and I went in tired, nervous and feeling slightly confused. After some initial positioning success, the match went in a similar fashion to my previous one, with my opponent able to sweep me and gain a more dominant position. This time he was able to apply an Americana hold and I was unable to respond accordingly quickly enough. I tapped, finding my shoulder in immense pain. I almost skipped the post-match bowing ceremony because I wanted to see the medic, who told me it might be a little bit bruised or sprained at the most, but I had little to worry about.
Embarrassed and in pain, I vowed to quit Jiu Jitsu.
Two days later I was back on the mats.
In the middle of 2016, I moved to Dublin for a nine month period and took classes with Andre Ramos, a Brazilian immigrant who married an Irish-Vietnamese woman and set up his gym in the North side of the city. Andre’s style was robust and not dissimilar to the “heavier than a dead whale” style which Roger Gracie employs. This was a style which would suit me massively and when the job that I was on finished, I returned home and showed my coach how I had developed. It was here, I received my blue belt.
Post Blue Belt, Plateau, Depression and Rebound
After obtaining my blue belt, I moved to London for several years and due to the chaotic nature of my studying and working schedules, found my training to be inconsistent. I would train under different coaches, all with different backgrounds and Jiu Jitsu philosophies. With my mind and time already being spread on different commitments and goals, I found it difficult to develop my Jiu Jitsu further. I saw myself hit the “blue belt plateau” that many BJJ practitioners see. This is when they no longer sense themselves improving and as I did saw those who had been training for less time make the same big jumps in understanding that I had witnessed in myself a year in from taking up the sport.
This is when the ego comes into play again. To survive this and continue training, some recommend meditating, or taking some time out to mentally reframe what is perceived as a negative situation. At this point in my life, I found that the stresses of everything happening around me, coupled with the great pressures of the expectations I had of myself meant that mentally re-framing was something I found myself unable to do.
I stopped training Jiu Jitsu, and practiced a little bit more Muay Thai and boxing, but for several months left those at the roadside, finding myself depressed and lost due to career and romantic issues. It was a dark place in my life.
Mentally Recovering and The Journey Ahead
After seeking some counseling, I was advised by some of the medical professionals to get back to the physical activity that I once loved.
It was then I stepped back on the mats, doing my best to focus on the tasks, the movements and defending myself, whether I was getting smothered by a rapidly developing white belt or schooled by a black belt professor. Slowly, I saw improvements in myself once again, even if those improvements were as small as getting tapped out twice in a six minute round, compared to four times within the same time.
Jiu Jitsu undoubtedly played a great part in helping me improve my mindset and outlook on life, and helped me prepare for the immense challenges of life, whether they were the internal struggles I had, or the pressures of modern living. Seeing my development on the mat was part of this and although the global pandemic temporarily derailed this development, I’m glad to say I’m back on the right track, training regularly.
You see, Jiu Jitsu is a journey you can take in life, if you choose to, but as with many a journey there is no straight path and there may be obstacles wherever you tread. However, find the right mindset and the right people and that journey will be one of joy.
Contact us today to schedule a trial class for yourself or your child!
10th Planet Poway Jiu Jitsu
14009 Midland Rd. Poway, CA 92064
(858) 848-6444
